Here is another thing that I am terrible at: I never quite know when to quit on somethings. I was recently reminded of this when I was watching The Hustler with Paul Newman. There is an intense scene where Fast Eddie, a young pool shark, who has taken on the best in the business, Minnesota Fats, is up $11,000 dollars, but he doesn't know when to quit. His manager begs him to leave and get some sleep, but rather than walking away he keeps on playing and loses the money after 25 hours of play and a bottle of Bourbon. Minus the pool playing and the bottle of Bourbon, I am just like this guy: sometimes I just don't know when to quit when I am ahead.
I am sure this circles back somehow to my fear of change and the unknown. And to be sure it has to do with my desire to hold on to people and things in this life of mine. I am much more sentimental than people give me credit for, and to a fault sometimes. Too many times I am like Fast Eddie, I don't know when to quit when I am ahead. And when it comes to some people you need to get out while the getting is good. Too often I miss my cue. My friend Jonathan often calls me on this when I make excuses for people that I shouldn't- he lets me know when I'm blinded by sentimentality. He is a lot like Fast Eddie's manager in that he lets me know when the getting is good. Mores the pity that I don't always listen.
Yeah the closure thing is a tough one. I once read an article in some beauty magazine, about the psychological need for the sound of closure. The article explained that many of the beauty items that women use such as lipstick, or compacts don't really have to make that clicking sound to be securely closed. The article explained that many of the items have been engineered to make the sound of closure because it is psychologically reassuring for the user that the makeup won't end up all over the inside of her purse. The clicking noise isn't essential to the mechanism actually closing securely, often it is purely for psychological purposes. Hmmm .... After I read that article I got out my mac compact and and opened it and closed it a few times to listen to the click- to listen to the sound of closure. My thought was: I need that clicking noise in other areas of my life.
Wouldn't it be amazing that when it was time for a certain chapter of your life to close or time for a relationship to end there would be some sort of clicking noise so that you knew it was closed and it was time to move on? I certainly could use that psychologically satisfying click. That click would keep me from being like Fast Eddie.
It is a strange time of closings in my life, and I know that in some cases I definitely played the game too long and ended up losing all but my stake money. As I said, sometimes I could really use that clicking noise- I am not kidding. In a strange turn of events - one area of my life I thought was closing is not- I was ready to vacate Palm Beach County forever, but then I got a job I have wanted for a long time. So here I am again. I was so ready to get out of here for many different reasons, but there were other plans. This situation I put squarely in what I like to call the "Rolling Stone category" as it is an example of the philosophy espoused in one of their songs "You can't always get what you want, but if try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need."
Indeed. So my life goes at the moment.
I think you're--we're all--getting better at recognzing the click.
Not sure if you saw this quote but it's in the same vain.
Merv Griffin said:
Turn the page. If something falls through, turn the page. It's over with, get used to it, get on with it. Very simple. It's always worked for me.
Posted by: JB | September 09, 2008 at 11:30 AM